Unfiltered Relationship Wisdom You Need

First things first, Happy New Month!!

Against all the odds stacked against you, you made it to the last month of the first quarter of the year.

A jolly good show indeed.

As we enter the new month, I thought it beneficial to share wisdom nuggets that would aid you on your journey to have the successful relationship of your dreams. The nuggets I’m about to share with you are worth their weight in gold so listen up!

First things first;

Some people come into your life to assist your growth through certain seasons. Just because you were “best friends” with a university mate doesn’t mean you’d remain best friends for life.

Secondly, you should know that the very nature of a relationship is based on value exchange between the individuals involved and not selfish hoarding. A relationship will only thrive where selflessness exists continually from both parties involved.

Thirdly, there are two big things to consider in every relationship: why you're in it A.K.A. its purpose, and how you improve over time A.K.A. it’s growth and maintenance.

Quick Announcement 📢

I'm starting a coaching program to help you find the perfect partner by giving you the tools and know-how to choose wisely.

At first, I'll work with just 3 people. If I have time, I might take up to 5.

If you want to spend a few weeks with me learning how to attract the right person for you and how to be a great partner yourself, let me know here

MY TWO CENTS 🧠

My view on purpose and romantic relationships;
Purpose is the reason something is done or created.

Relationships only make sense regarding the general purpose of one’s life. Before we can understand the purpose of our relationships, we must first understand our purpose as individuals. The only thing that would keep your relationship together is a common purpose.

When people lose sight of the common purpose of their relationship, fulfil the common purpose of their relationship, or stop caring about the common purpose of their relationship, most times, that’s when they break up. This is why you can see a couple married for 18+ years divorcing each other after their kids go to university/college. It’s because whether they stated it or not, the common purpose of their marriage at some point became about raising their kids and sending them off to college/university. Since the purpose of the relationship had been achieved, there was no need for the relationship to continue.

Relationships are based on a common purpose, whether the purpose has been clearly stated in terms, that both parties understand and agree to or not. Without a clear understanding of our purpose, it is impossible to commit to anything and follow through on the commitment. Purpose inspires us to fulfil our obligations irrespective of our feelings.

In its basest form, the purpose of an individual is continuous improvement. i.e., striving to be the best version of oneself till death. The same rule applies in a relationship. The purpose of a relationship is for two individuals to selflessly ensure that their partner becomes the best version of themselves as they both strive to achieve the vision for their lives. When couples understand and fully embrace this fact, the “what’s in it for me?” mentality changes. They now ask themselves, “how can I assist my partner with their dreams?” “How can I help my partner use their gifts to the fullest?” “How can I love my partner selflessly and completely?”.

My view on growing and maintaining your relationship;
Your relationship is either growing or dying. There is no middle ground. In your journey with your partner, know there will be issues that will test the strength of your relationship. If your relationship has deep roots, you’d be like trees whose seeds are deeply planted in the earth to withstand the storm and powerful winds.

Here’s how you tie the pieces together

YOUR PLAYBOOK 📕

When it comes to your relationship and purpose, here’s the key takeaway;
Before you dive into a romantic relationship, take a moment to figure out what drives you. What makes you tick? Your own goals, dreams, and aspirations? Once you've got that sorted, it's time to chat with your partner. Share your hopes and dreams, and listen to theirs too. Together, figure out your shared purpose – what you both want to achieve as a team.

Then, support each other like there's no tomorrow! Help your partner chase their dreams, use their talents to the max, and love them with all your heart. It's all about growing together, always striving to be the best versions of yourselves, side by side. Trust me, it'll make your relationship stronger than ever.

When it comes to growing and maintaining your romantic relationship with your partner, here’s the key takeaway;
There are various roots to plant deep in your relationship to help it weather the storm. They are; Healthy communication, Gratitude, Respect, Discipline, Forgiveness, Mutual willingness to serve A.K.A Giving and Quality time.

Healthy Communication
Excellent communication is a strong foundation for every relationship. Suppose you and your partner can’t talk about issues together lovingly and kindly, your relationship will fail. Communication is how things will be planned and done in the relationship. Without effective communication channels in place, any establishment (including relationships) is doomed to fail.

Gratitude
You can never really be happy in life without gratitude. You will never have a great relationship without genuinely being grateful for your partner and appreciating them for the beautiful person they are. Avoid complaints. They destroy relationships. Focus on what your partner does right, and watch them do more right things. The more you speak to your partner about how grateful you are for the things they do right, the more they get encouraged and strive even more to do more “right things” hence giving you more things to be grateful for. Gratitude is one root that would make your relationship grow strong. Compliment your significant other at least once a day, and praise them continuously for all they do well. Doing this will bring joy into your relationship. Trust me on this one.

Respect
Respect is earned, not demanded. We all need respect as human beings. Respect is one of the great roots necessary in relationships. Respect encourages trust, openness and honesty. You should show respect to your significant other at all times. This means you are not to do, say or behave in ways that would cause them to lose or question their self-worth. So watch the language you use with your significant other in all situations, especially the words you use when tempers are flaring. Make sure the words you use on your partner are those of love and value.

Discipline
I dare say without discipline, there can be no love. How? You ask. To love, you need to be free. To be free, you need to have discipline. To love someone means freely giving ourselves completely and unconditionally to them. To do this, you need to own yourself. Owning yourself means you are free. This means you possess mastery, control and determination of yourself. Freedom is necessary for love to blossom.
PUTTING OUR PARTNERS’ NEEDS BEFORE OUR OWN IN A RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES DISCIPLINE.
If your relationship is characterized by incessant chasing after pleasure and cravings, know love is non-existent because most of those “whims” are usually selfish.

Forgiveness
We’ve all heard the famous saying; Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the person who offended you to die. Forgiveness is an essential root that should be planted deep in any relationship. Human beings are imperfect beings, INCLUDING YOU! YES! YOU! YOU ARE AN IMPERFECT HUMAN BEING. STOP ACTING ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT! To be able to forgive, we need to be self-aware.
Being self-aware means that we know our limitations and weaknesses.
This way, we would be more tolerant of the shortcomings of our significant other.

Giving
Giving is the main foundation of a relationship. All relationships involve two people selflessly giving each other all they need to be the best version of themselves. Sometimes in a relationship, you’d be put in situations where you have to give to your significant other, making you forgo your actual needs. However, it should be noted that this type of giving is the exception and not the norm. You should always give with the other person’s best interest at heart.

Quality Time
Being in the same place with your romantic partner and spending time together with your partner are very different things. Sadly, many relationships are filled with people living together alone. Quality time should be a priority if you want your relationship to blossom. Quality time is simply the both of you enjoying each other’s company by doing an activity you both love that strengthens the bond between the two of you. Most couples usually experience quality time at the early stages of the relationship, which slowly dies down over time. Lack of quality time makes it easier for couples to fall out of love. Quality time needs to be scheduled if necessary. You need to spend time together with your significant other.

HOW I ADD VALUE TO YOU

I’d help you attract your ideal romantic partner and maintain a fulfilling relationship effortlessly with my 3-pronged approach;

My personalized 1-on-1 coaching program. It aims to show you how to vet prospective romantic partners properly and teach you the skills needed to effortlessly be the type of person that attracts the right kind of partner for you.

Sharing the secrets happy couples use to make their romantic relationship healthy, strong and successful via this FREE weekly email newsletter, my YouTube channel and other social media platforms I’m on. This approach is aimed to arm you with the right knowledge and insights to maintain your happy, healthy functional relationship with your partner. My username on all platforms is @chikeoranye. You can find me on these platforms: X, Facebook, Instagram, Threads, Bluesky, TikTok and LinkedIn.

Equip you with the skills to seamlessly overcome pitfalls and unforeseen challenges that can ruin or destroy your romantic relationships via a combination of the digital products I sell and one-off coaching sessions with me.

END CREDITS 📃

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