Why We Get Led On and How to Dodge the Bullsh*t

GRIPE OF THE DAY

On today’s issue, we are going to be tackling:

• The now almost widespread romantic issue of being led on

• The main reason people choose to “lead others on” romantically

• The reason people choose to be “led on” romantically

• How to spot the signs you’re being led on by someone else

• How to avoid being led on.

Let’s begin!!!

WHY YOU SHOULD CARE

The dating scene today is nothing but a hot mess. Most people—by most I mean 99.999% of people—look for and choose romantic partners based solely on the “what’s in it for me” mentality. And because of this mentality, people change romantic partners faster than Apple can bring out new iPhones.

But among this popular destructive sect is a select group of people who don’t even want the responsibility of having and maintaining a romantic relationship with a partner but want all its accrued benefits.

Some people like to call these sect players, but I prefer to call them by their natural name…scumbags or my personal favourite, sons of b@$%#! (This name refers to both genders, so it’s all-inclusive 😌).

Just for the sake of formality, to be led on romantically refers to the experience of believing that someone is genuinely interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you when, in fact, they are not.

This can happen when the person you are interested in engages in behaviours or communication that suggest romantic interest, such as flirting, spending time together, or making promises about the future, leading you to believe that a romantic relationship is developing.

However, with time, it becomes apparent that their actions were insincere, and they never intended to pursue a genuine romantic connection.

The main reason people choose to “lead others on” romantically is due to the human emotion of selfishness. Humans by default are inherently selfish and self-serving. And you can count on the default nature to rear its ugly head in people who have not done the work to overcome this default trait.

No matter what they want in the end, those scumbags lead people on romantically because they only care about themselves and their desires.

Sadly, the reason people allow themselves to be led on romantically even to their detriment is a result of low self-esteem, a low sense of self-worth, a horrible self-identity and a lack of enforceable boundaries. And they know it. This is why people who “lead others on” romantically often look for and target people who fit the criteria of having low self-esteem, a low sense of self-worth and a horrible self-identity.

But I don’t have just bad news to share with you today. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. The good news is that if you look and observe closely, there are two tell-tale signs someone is trying to lead you on.

The first clear sign is when the person won't commit. You'll see they avoid anything that would make them commit to you. This could mean they won't properly talk about your relationship or acknowledge it in important places, like with friends or family.

The next sign is a consistent mismatch of their words and actions. They seem to know how to say all the right things but never back it up with the right actions.

Once you see these 2 signs consistently, especially the first sign of non-commitment, you’re not as important to them romantically as you want to be.

COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS 

My weekly coaching sessions have been moved from Fridays to Thursdays and the coaching slots are now from noon W.A.T. to 3 pm W.A.T. You can book your slot here

The Love Navigator Coaching Program commences sometime this quarter (Probably in the last week of April).
It’s not yet too late to indicate your interest. In it, We’d walk side by side on your journey to attract the right partner for you. You can indicate your interest here

YOUR PLAYBOOK

If you’ve ever been led on, here are the first steps you have to take;

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Role
- Recognize that while being led on was not your fault, you played a part in the situation by investing emotions.
- Accept responsibility for your actions and reactions, understanding that self-awareness is the first step towards growth.

Step 2: Practice Self-Forgiveness
- Understand that it's okay to make mistakes and to have been deceived.
- Forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings or naivety in the situation.
- Let go of any guilt or self-blame that may be holding you back from moving forward.

Once this is out of the way, here’s how you make it difficult to be led on;

Step 3: Boost Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
- Engage in activities that make you feel confident and capable.
- Practice positive self-talk and affirmations to reinforce your self-worth.
- Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting people who value and appreciate you.

Step 4: Define Your Self-Identity
- Reflect on your values, interests, and passions to develop a strong sense of self.
- Explore your strengths and talents, and embrace what makes you unique.
- Cultivate hobbies and pursuits that align with your authentic self-expression.

Step 5: Establish Healthy Boundaries
- Identify your boundaries and what you are comfortable with in relationships.
- Communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively to others.
- Be consistent in enforcing your boundaries, and don't hesitate to walk away from situations that compromise your well-being.

Step 6: Continuous Growth and Improvement
- Commit to ongoing self-development and growth.
- Seek resources such as books, therapy, or support groups to further your growth journey.
- Embrace challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and resilience-building.

COMMUNITY PERKS

Personalized 1-on-1 Coaching
Dive into a tailored coaching program to help you confidently navigate the dating scene. Learn the art of vetting potential partners and master the skills to become irresistible to your ideal match. Express your interest in embarking on this transformative journey here.

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Relationship Resilience Toolkit
Arm yourself with the tools to conquer any obstacle to your relationship's harmony. Explore our range of digital products and opt for personalized one-off coaching sessions to tackle challenges head-on and emerge stronger than ever.

END CREDITS

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