8 Relationship Pitfalls To Avoid

GRIPE OF THE DAY ⚠️

The inspiration for today’s issue stems from the headache I’ve gotten on multiple occasions as a result of seeing people—on the internet and in my coaching sessions—have anywhere from seemingly not decent to very fucking horrible romantic relationships.

I’ve been doing this for a minute now and I guess that’s why my brain is acutely attuned to seeing and wanting to fix relationship issues.

The type of romantic relationship you have can be the difference between life and death. Have a great romantic relationship? Every other aspect of your life gets a positive boost plus your general well-being will be that of consistent bliss.

However, suppose you are one of the poor sods with a not-so-great romantic relationship. In that case, you will experience the opposite of everything I just mentioned and then some extra measure.

I’ll list 8 reasons I came across just this week, why people have horrible relationships. You may have heard some of the reasons I’d be stating before, and some you may not have heard. But it does not change the impact it will have on you.

Let’s begin!!!

MY TWO CENTS 🧠

1. Entering/starting romantic relationships for horrible reasons
I can always tell when talking to someone if their romantic relationship has a decent chance to thrive by the reason(s) they give me as to why they started it in the first place.
If you’ve been ardently reading this newsletter every Sunday, you will know that this is a point I like to repeat because of its sheer importance. If you enter a romantic relationship for the wrong reasons, there is a good chance you’re in it with the wrong person. And there is no fucking way you can create or build a right relationship with the wrong person.

2. No common purpose

Generally, this is how I see people run their relationships;
Boy meets girl,
boy starts up multiple consistent conversations with the girl using charm and charisma,
the girl starts to develop feelings for the boy,
boy and girl go out on a few dates,
the boy asks the girl out and the girl accepts,
boy and girl run their romantic relationship on feelings and vibes alone,
time passes and the emotional high begins to dwindle in the relationship, boy and girl start drifting apart,
boy and girl break up,
boy and girl become exes
rinse and fucking repeat.

The main purpose/obligation people in romantic relationships have is to help their partner become the best version of themselves, period.

3. No accountability
Accountability is what propels us to be the best version of ourselves. This is also needed in your romantic relationship. No one wants to be held accountable anymore. And that’s part of the problem. Accountability helps both partners abide by the rules, regulations, agreements and boundaries in their romantic relationship. Without it, there will be no difference between you and the savages.

4. Giving up in the face of challenges

Gold only becomes gold when it has gone through the purification process of fire. It’s easy to be all “loved and coupled up” in good times. The strength of your relationship is found when shit hits the fan. It’s often the times of great struggle that strengthen the bonds of intimacy in a romantic relationship. Couples with great relationships are the ones that have had to face and gain the experience of slaying the dragon together.

5. Having no clear definition of what makes a relationship great
This is another point I have had to repeat because I see this flaw often. If you don’t know what you are looking for, you won’t find it. Even if you do find it, you will not even recognize it. When couples fail to define what constitutes a great relationship between them, they never have a great relationship as a natural consequence of not even knowing what it means to have one in the first place.

6. Unrealistic expectations
If I had $10 for every time I heard unrealistic views on romantic relationships, I'd be lounging on a beach with a mojito, watching a sunrise in a delusional universe.

Alas! The gods of delusion have not found me worthy to grant this scenario.

Misguided expectations from movies, Snapchat, Instagram, X—just typing this as X instead of Twitter gave me this “eewww” feeling—or “perfect couple goals” anywhere on the interweb will doom you to a life of misery, frustration, and in some cases even envy. Yes, I did say the purpose of a relationship is for couples to help themselves be their best version, but in doing so make allowances in the journey for fuck ups. In case you need to be reminded, we are all human. And one thing humans know how to do very well is fuck up. When couples make peace with the fact that their partner is another individual with their own experiences, quirks, likes, dislikes and flaws, they sleep better at night.

7. They don’t believe they can have a great relationship
I’m not going to lie, the first time I encountered this mentality in one of my coaching sessions with a client I was internally taken aback. Sadly, I’ve encountered more people with this limiting belief. Some people genuinely believe they are destined to never have a great relationship, and because of this belief, even when they do stumble into a relationship with a great partner, they fuck it up by self-sabotaging the entire thing. In case you still need me to spell it out for you, you cannot have a great relationship if you think you cannot have one.

8. They never get quality coaching
Never underestimate the unbiased views and perspectives of an individual who wants what is best for you. Most people think coaching or counselling is done only when shit has hit the fan. This could not be farther from the truth. Coaching is necessary to be the best version of yourself. Think about it. The best athletes have coaches, the best actors and actresses still have coaches, the best businessmen and women still have coaches, and the best coaches still have coaches. Why? because it is impossible to look at the entire picture when you’re in the frame. Your coach will not only call out the areas you need improvement but will design strategies to help you achieve them tailored to your unique needs and lifestyle.
Quality coaching can take various forms, from books and seminars to one-on-one sessions with specialized coaches. Some options are free, while others require financial investment. The key is consistent engagement with a source you trust.
And yes, even reading this newsletter is a form of coaching!
As a relationship coach, one of the most effective and powerful methods of FREE relationship coaching I recommend to people is to surround themselves with happy couples. Our environment shapes us, so leveraging positive influences will make a significant difference.
Because at the end of the day…

COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS 📢

The slots for my weekly coaching sessions are now open. Choose success in your love life here

I’m opening up my coaching program soon. In it, I show my clients how to attract the right partner. I will only be accepting 3 people for now. You can indicate your interest in being one of the lucky 3 here

YOUR PLAYBOOK 📕

Here’s the secret…

Do the opposite of everything I just listed above.

That’s it!

HOW I ADD VALUE TO YOU 💎

I’d help you attract your ideal romantic partner and maintain a fulfilling relationship effortlessly with my 3-pronged approach;

My personalized 1-on-1 coaching program. It aims to show you how to vet prospective romantic partners properly and teach you the skills needed to effortlessly be the type of person that attracts the right kind of partner for you. You can indicate your interest here.

Sharing the secrets happy couples use to make their romantic relationship healthy, strong and successful via this FREE weekly email newsletter, my YouTube channel and other social media platforms I’m on. This approach is aimed to arm you with the right knowledge and insights to maintain your happy, healthy functional relationship with your partner. My username on all platforms is @chikeoranye. You can find me on these platforms: X, Facebook, Instagram, Threads, Bluesky, TikTok and LinkedIn.

Equip you with the skills to seamlessly overcome pitfalls and unforeseen challenges that can ruin or destroy your romantic relationships via a combination of the digital products I sell and one-off coaching sessions with me.

END CREDITS 📃

If this newsletter issue was shared with you, sign up here.

You can read my blog posts here.

You can support my vision to create and make healthy romantic relationships the norm in society here.